When I first started playing piano, even just thinking about performing for an audience made my heart beat faster (and not in a good way). I am fairly comfortable in public speaking settings and have been for many years, but playing an instrument is an entirely different experience. The only way I've been able to overcome the fear and anxiety that still plague me to some degree is to force myself to perform in public settings often. Whether or not my performance meets my high standards, I can learn something from each attempt: how to play on different instruments in different settings, how to roll with the punches, how to interact with different audiences, how to prepare for the next performance and how to keep my thoughts from sabotaging my current one. In this blog entry I'm going to share some tips that have helped make my performances more successful. I've divided my comments into three sections: preparing (before the show), performing (in the moment), and evaluating (after the show).
PREPARING
Most of what makes a show successful happens long before the show itself. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to select the right song arrangements to perform. There have been many times when I chose a particular arrangement because of its beautiful sound, only to have things go wrong during a performance in spite of my many, many hours of practice. Knowing what is and isn't within my grasp is something I've had to learn the hard way. There are many songs that I can play well when I am in the comfort of my own home, but in a performance situation everything changes. Instead of selecting pieces that are almost--but not quite--out of reach, I have learned that it can take weeks, months or years to perfect certain songs and that trying to publicly perform arrangements that are on the very edge of my playing ability is usually a very bad idea.
When preparing for a performance I like to start by exploring my various song options. It's good to have a mix of familiar favorites as well as some songs that aren't quite as familiar and even a few brand new songs to avoid stagnation. I then create an initial list of songs and play through each of them while timing them with a stopwatch. I then try to select more songs than I will actually need for the performance so that I can remove the hardest ones from the list in the final days before the concert if I don't feel like I'm quite ready to perform them.
Once I have a rough set list in place, I then play through all of the songs again to get a feel for them and how they will sound when played in sequential order. I make adjustments to the sequence as needed, then I start working on each song individually, playing it over and over again until I can get through it without any mistakes at least once. I continue moving through my list a song at a time in this same fashion until I get to the point where I can play them all correctly on my first, second or third attempt. Then I go back to playing through the whole list, repeatedly going through the set exactly as I will when I'm performing it. During this phase I like to envision the venue where I will be playing and pretend I have an audience.
When a performance is only a few days away, the songs that I can't play "cold" (making few or no mistakes on my first try) will be cut from the final set list. On the day of the actual performance I allow myself to play through the set list just once, and I do it at the last possible minute so that I can arrive at my performance location warmed up and ready to play.
PERFORMING
I always start by playing something very comfortable and familiar, yet also appealing so that I can build on that initial success throughout the performance. I like to end with a comfortable (usually upbeat) song as well.
I've occasionally seen quotes that say something like, "The past is in the past and the future hasn't happened; the present is all we have." I'm still not entirely sure how those quotes relate to life, although I sense there is great truth there. However, when it comes to playing piano I've noticed that my thoughts while I am in the act of playing can work for or against me.
If I make a small mistake, whether or not I recover, dwelling on that mistake is ALWAYS a bad idea. The past is in the past -- I can't fix it, so why waste a single second worrying about it? There are still more notes to play, and that's what matters now.
There are times when my thoughts just drift to random things while I'm performing, like what I had for lunch that day or what a friend said to me in a conversation last week. It's nice to know certain songs so well that I can play them even on "autopilot," without any conscious thought. But sometimes my autopilot malfunctions, and by being present and keeping my thoughts focused on what I am doing I can be prepared for the unexpected. Another challenge I sometimes face while performing a piece is thinking/worrying about how the audience is feeling/reacting to my performance. The time to think about my audience is between songs. In the middle of a piece I need to stay focused on the task at hand.
And the future hasn't happened, so there's no need to start worrying about a page turn when it's still 20 measures away. If I do that, I'm wasting mental cycles that should be used to make sure I'm playing my current measure correctly. It's okay and even a good idea to look a little ahead and prepare for section transitions, page turns, etc. But anything that isn't on the immediate horizon should be disregarded, including anticipated applause at the end of a successful rendition. Thinking about that can prevent me from focusing on the notes I need to play right now!
EVALUATING
On rare occasions I have had friends film my performances, and I have watched those videos to see if my own assessment of how I did mirrors objective reality. There's no better way to decide if a performance meets my own high standards than seeing it as if I'm in the audience. I don't always like what I see and hear, but I understand the importance of forgiving mistakes and not allowing them to erode my confidence. Even if a performance wasn't filmed, as long as the audience was appreciative and kind (and, even better, willing to invite me back) then I can only assume I at least did a "good enough" job.
Perhaps someday I will such a skilled musician that nervousness and mistakes will both be the farthest things from my mind when I'm performing. But at the moment they are a very real and very challenging part of every performance. The only way to improve is to keep trying, though, so if my last performance wasn't as good as I wanted then I can work harder to make sure that my next one is.
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